Tall Tales
by Exquisiteliltart
Summary: Unfortunately, neither of his mothers' made it to Henry's school play. They didn't make it past the hallway


Emma had every right to be there, and that was the point she was fruitlessly attempting to make to Regina. Regina had requested "a word in the hallway" when Emma arrived for Henry's school play.

"You need not be attending, dear," Regina had said with practiced notes of condescension coupled with dismissiveness. Straggling parents and community members were being ushered inside as the play was about to start.

"Oh, I will be _attending._ I'm here to support Mary Margaret, and I helped with the costumes," Emma said in her own familiar tone of indignation.

The play, entitled "Tall Tales" starred all the 4th graders, ('there are no small parts, only small actors' ~Ms. Blanchard) however, Henry had an especially pivotal role as Johnny Appleseed, (although, he'd really wanted to play Paul Bunyan.)

"I made Henry's costume by hand, complete with a pouch of apple seeds that I personally procured for him from my tree," Regina raised her eyebrows displaying her pride.

"Please, lady, you did not _make_ his costume. If memory serves, Johnny 'Fucking' Appleseed did not wear United Colors of Benetton khakis, and Italian suede leather oxfords," Emma taunted, going the extra mean-spirited mile.

Regina took a step forward, anger blazing on her face, and her fingers curling into a claw like she was preparing to scratch out a certain set of blue-green eyeballs, "How dare you, Ms. Swan, I made his hat!" Regina sneered, so close she was puffing hot breaths into Emma's face.

They stood, facing off, as if they were about to have a gun duel of their own. Muffled applause erupted from inside the school auditorium as Davy Crockett made his introduction.

"You need to back off, or we're going to miss Henry's performance," Emma reasoned trying to get past Regina and back into the theater.

Regina put a hand to Emma's chest stopping her, rubbing a bit more than necessary against her soft flesh, "I told you 'no' and you will do as I say."

"Uh huh, you gonna make me?" Emma was getting furious, Regina was such a control freak and over the stupidest shit.

After that, things got a little blurry and a lot violent. Regina may have pushed Emma back into a trophy case, and Emma allegedly wrapped her hands around Regina's throat and pulled her to the floor. What was certain is that both women were screaming obscenities in their blind hatred. Aforementioned obscenities were apparently vocally traveling into the auditorium, and the audience near the back was getting a bit uncomfortable and concerned.

Frederick, the gym teacher, came out to break them up. He watched them wrestle one another for a much longer moment than necessary. He was shaking his head in disbelief, and thinking how hot it would be if those two were just a little bit naked and perhaps covered in liberal amounts of Turkish oil. He did a double take when Regina pulled a particular wrestling trick that wasn't often seen in regulation versions of the sport: the mayor might have just humped the sheriff a little. Oh, yeah there was most definitely a little humping going on as Frederick got a better view. The whole spectacle was very interesting; much more so than the boring play comprised of shy children whispering poorly enunciated monologues.

In fact, the sounds now coming from the women on the floor had taken an entirely different tone. It was still most definitely obscene, but less in language and more of a sexual quality and tone. Regina had her fist wrapped tightly in a chunk of Emma's hair, and the rest was splayed out on the floor. Then Frederick noticed Emma's knee had bolted up between Regina's thighs, triggering a particular noise that should be reserved for the bedroom only. (If not the bedroom, at least, not in front of the secretary's office in the local elementary school)

Some events are always awkward no matter what, and pulling the mayor off of the sheriff is one. There was just no easy way to go about it, especially when they were fuck-fighting indecently (as if a _decent _way to fuck-fight existed). People were now getting out of their seats to come out and see the real show in the hallway. Frederick thought for a minute there that he was going to have to turn a hose on them like dogs. He heard a cracking sound and looked down to see little discs rolling toward his feet. He was shocked (and a little aroused) to identify the discs were buttons that had popped off of Regina's shirt. They were literally tearing each other's clothes off.

Frederick took a deep breath and hooked his fingers into the collar of Regina's blazer, pulling her up like a mama cat would carry her kitten. She tensed up from shock for a moment before she kind of went limp, like Frederick's grip was the only thing keeping her standing on her weak knees. Emma scrambled back and stood, hurriedly wiping Regina's lipstick off her face, but she missed the streaky red stains trailing down her neck and over her flushed chest.

There wasn't much to be said to two respected community leaders who just engaged in such raunchiness at a children's event, so Frederick let Regina shrug out of his grip and compose herself while he walked away and directed the shell-shocked audience back into the auditorium. More applause and the sound of Mary Margaret's voice thanking everyone for coming signaled that the play had concluded.

"Fuck! What am I going to tell Henry? I missed the whole thing," Emma said between labored breaths.

"You shouldn't have promised him you'd be here in the first place! I hope you're happy, since I had to _deal_ with you, I missed it too!" Regina lamented, feeling the wash of endorphins and adrenaline stir her blood at the recent memory.

"Yeah, well…you're just going to have to keep dealing with me, because I'm not going anywhere," Emma stomped her foot and balled her fists.

Regina tilted her head and pursed her lips at the little tantrum Emma was throwing. Regina's eyes darkened and her face took on a wicked look, "Perhaps you could come back to my house so we can continue to deal with each other?"

"That's dangerous, Madam Mayor, because as fierce as I'm feeling you might just have to _deal_ with me all night long," Emma's eyes glimmered at the thought.


End file.
